So sorry

I know, I know. I said that I would post more often. Unfortunately I got extremely busy and haven't had the chance. Plus, recently I couldn't get onto my account to blog. Tomorrow marks my 4-month post-op anniversary and I've lost close to 70 pounds. I feel great, my spirits are good and my energy level is higher than it's been in the last few years. I am actually glad that I did have the surgery. Life is good. I will promise to blog more often and then do the best I can not to  make a liar of myself. Til later.

Way too long

Once again it's been way too long since I last blogged. I honestly thought it hadn't been as long as it has. I haven't lost a huge amount of weight since my last check. However, I have lost a lot of inches. I guess this is a good thing. My energy level has increased tremendously and my mindset is improving everyday. I finally am at the point where I'm glad I had the gastric bypass surgery. Things are looking up.

Changes

I just got home from a girls weekend. We did this last year and decided to try again. Friday afternoon through Saturday at noon is a fundraiser for Relay for Life. This year we stayed an extra night for more relaxation. This was an eye opening experience. Friday night I became a bit upset because I was watching my friends and others at my table eating huge portions of food with no problem. They were enjoying their lemonade and having fun. Here I sat with so little on my plate and no dessert. This was the first time I really mourned me not eating a huge portion of food. Saturday after the fundraiser we went into town for a bit of shopping. My one friend decided she wanted Chinese food so we went there. I could not find anything on the little menu and it caused me to tear up in frustration. Luckily I remembered seeing a small cafe around the corner and while they were waiting for their carryouts I went in. When we got back to the hotel and say down to eat, the food I ordered was way too greasy for me to eat. For lunch I ended up eating a couple pieces of the homemade bread. No protein. This was so hard and I really need to stop beating myself up for every little thing!!! One meal in weeks without protein is not going to derail me. I had a chicken breast for dinner last night and it was wonderful and full of protein. All is well again lol.

WOW!!!

So, I am preparing to go back to work next week. I've decided to clean out my closet and give the Salvation Army the clothes that either were too big to start with or I just don't like anymore. They have a great program that gives women on welfare clothes to go on job interviews. I feel good giving to a great purpose. But I digress.
I tried on some clothes that were way too small before surgery to see how close I am to wearing them. Guess what? They actually fit and fit good. Even the Mario Lemieux jersey I bought over a year ago on EBay. I'm so totally stoked. I'm stronger every day and have been going out during the day for a couple of hours, trying to build up my stamina. Finally, I am getting to the point that I am happy I had the surgery. YEAH!!!

Update time

Wow, I didn't know that I hadn't been on for so long. Time flies. Well I went to the doctor for my month (actually six week) checkup and I am totally thrilled. I have lost 31 pounds. Absolutely amazing. This makes me happy and realize that everything that I've been through. My mind is clear and I haven't felt this good in ages. I'll try to post more often.

tired

Have you ever been just tired, not sore, but bone tired? That's the phase I'm going through now. Within an hour of waking up I am tired. My nutrition and water consumption is up but it feels like I constantly need a nap. I can't wait to go to my checkup next week and ask the doctor to make sure it is normal. Other than that, I feel pretty good. Guess that's why they call it recovery.

Happy anniversary

Wow, it happened so quick. Today was my one-month post op anniversary. I have some slight pains but considering how bad I've been in pain, today I feel pretty good. I am down to one nap a day and am able to talk about 1/2 mile a day. Two weeks ago I barely made it to the mailbox at the end of my driveway. I've said before that this sucks so much, today, it really doesn't.

What a difference a week or so makes

I have learned an extremely valuable lesson this week. If you think you drank enough water, drink more. Sunday night I became very very sick and was almost hospitalized due to dehydration. I thought I was drinking and eating enough but obviously I wasn't. I don't even remember what happened that night. Thankfully my mom was here to help out. The last few days and nights have been much better so thank God for that.

keeps getting better

I can't believe it's been 13 days since surgery. I'm still so sore and tired but everyday gets better and better, so glad for that. I don't feel so bad most of the time but the exhaustion goes on and on. I am going to attempt to do 5 minutes on the treadmill, wish me luck.

Home sweet home

I had my surgery on Thursday and came home sometime Saturday. It is all such a major blur. I have been in such pain. I can't get in and out of bed without assistance. I am so blessed to have a happy, healthy strong father who can help me out. I am also so thankful for a mother who is so willing to help out and my daughter who has been at my beck and call. Whoever says this is a quick fix is out of their mind. I have a drain tube still, bloating and tired times. Sitting at this computer is so very uncomfortable. I am ready to go to sleep and I am heading off to bed.

This totally sucks!!!!

What a terribly long day today was. I woke up at 6 a.m. because I had to be in Cleveland for my pretesting at 9 a.m. Why so early? Because today Mother Nature decided to be pissed off at all of us and make driving a normally 1-hour route and making it 3 hours plus. Then I proceeded to be poked, prodded and questioned for the next 6 hours. On top of it I have to begin bowel cleansing. When the nurse starts her questioning with "have you ever had a colonoscopy?" and ends with "whatever side effects you have from this is alright" you know you are in trouble. Yep, I am digesting that gosh-aweful liquid and will be spending the majority of the night greeting the porcelain god. I keep chanting about the greater good but right now I want punch a wall or yell at someone. I feel miserable. My stomach is already cramping and I have one more dose to take. I may not make it. As I am typing this I see I have four minutes before this part of my life is over. Maybe they are testing my resolve. First they starve you to death on that protein shake only diet for two weeks and then make your bowels empty. This is for the greater good huh? I really would like a Wendy's fish sandwich. Well, the timer's going off, bottom's up for me. God help me.

Let the countdown begin

It's Sunday afternoon. My surgery is on Thursday. Pretesting is Tuesday. What am I feeling? So freaking hungry. Don't forget nauseas and lightheaded. 800 calories (and all the water you can drink) is no joke. I have to keep reminding myself that this is all for the greater good. Hopefully this will stop soon. For the greater good, for the greater good, for the greater good. . .I'll keep chanting this until I believe it.

To Dr. Oz or to not Dr. Oz

So, I was watching Dr. Oz on DVR and they were talking about the new points program on Weight Watchers. I've been on Weight Watchers and every other kind of watcher program you can think of. I kept saying to myself, if it were that easy, why couldn't I do it? This was/is my Aha moment. When you've tried everything, try something totally different. I now am 100 percent certain that this surgery is exactly what I need. Maybe I'll quit watching Dr. Oz for a while. I don't know if my psyche can take it.

Agony, lol

So, this is the third day of this 800-calorie liquid diet. Complete and utter torture. I hate this and it still sucks. Please, Lord, let this be over soon.

Goodness gracious

I am going to have to blog more often or every post is going to take an hour to read. Once again, lots of things have been going on. On Wednesday I went to my first support group for bariatric patients. There was a lady there who was 30 days post-op and she lost 25 pounds. I really enjoyed the group and plan on going again. I'm so glad my daughter and mom went with me. They are a great encouragement. I totally loved the vibe of the group. There was a guy there who obviously didn't know what kind of surgery he signed up for. He complained about plateauing but was eating like he wanted to and blaming his daughter for it. Even my daughter said he was a goof. It was funny though when the group told him about himself. I'm blessed to have found a group that's in Canton and that I like.
Today, however, is a new day. I started the 800 calorie diet. I am hungry, tired, a bit irritable and yet, here I am watching the Food Network. To know me is to love me and my crazy thought patterns. I did have a small bite of my daughter's pizza. Last night I had the one thing that I crave, Little Caesar's Italian cheese bread. It was soooooooo good. But alas, this is all for the greater good. I just wish the greater good better.

Rejoice Rejoice Rejoice

When I said that I wouldn't write another post until I knew something, I didn't know it would take so long. This may be a very long entry to work with me. So many things have happened in the past few weeks.
At the beginning of November, I received a call from my insurance company. I was told there was some error and I wasn't covered for bariatric surgery after all. I was at work. The lady then went on to tell me that there wasn't any reason to appeal and pretty much, that was it. I was devastated. I called my mom and told her, barely able to not cry. I did that all the way home. The moment I say my parents, the floodgates opened and I couldn't catch my breath for crying so hard. Needless to say, they were worried. I couldn't eat, my head hurt. I was a mess.
A week later I finally told the few other people that knew about my experience, still hurt from the rejection. They encouraged me to appeal it anyway. I decided to wait until the new year, no sense in a second rejection during the holidays.
To add insult to injury, a few days before New Years I received notification from my insurance company that all the expenses from the Cleveland Clinic were ineligible and I had to pay everything. My sadness became anger. It was a slap in the face. Who has an extra few thousand laying around their house?
One of the first days in January I e-mailed our benefits coordinator about the bills. She looked into for me and for that I'll be forever grateful. My insurance company said there was a "wording error" in our policy that automatically made my request rejected. They were going to change it and I am now eligible for the surgery and all other related expenses at our highest tier. The woman who originally called me to say that I wasn't eligible, called to say I was covered. This time she was so sweet and nice. Last time she was very matter-of-fact about the whole process. She even called the Cleveland Clinic personally with all the information so I didn't have to wait to schedule my surgery. At the end of the call, she said "if there is anything you need, please call me." I wanted to slap her but oh well. It all turned out in the end. My surgery date is Feb. 3 and I'm so excited I can't hardly stand it. I'm so glad that I didn't go with my first impulse which was to call and curse her out! So I will be blogging more and more. I'm so ready for this.